State of Destuny 2 - Bungo Delivers

Introducing the most rewarding endgame TO-DATE in the Destiny universe

Hello all, DJ Eej here to talk to you a bit about the state of Destiny 2. I'm happy to say that it's a MASSIVE success! People in the community are lining up to tell us what a great job we've done. Looking at the subreddit and Bungo forums, it's clear that we have 100% made the best choices for our franchise and we are universally applauded for it. Around the world we are receiving acclaim for our decisions to scale back abilities and damage, and scale UP walking around, slowly chipping away enemy health like you're chopping a tree down with a dull axe, staring off into the abyss and contemplating life - all great changes we've made to your Destiny gaming experience!

Well, today I'd like to announce another. Looking at the data it's been clear to us here that we need to boost our endgame a bit. You see, here at Bungo we like to put our players into 3 categories which we feel in-

totality best represents the community:

The first group we like to call, "suckers." Suckers are the people who have never played Destiny before now, they are unaware of the massive difference in power fantasy and gameplay from D1 to D2, maybe they are 12 or 13 and their grandma thought the game looked cool, something like that. These are the people who get the game, play through the main campaign maybe, and then move on once they realize they've already given us their money and our obligation to serve them as a customer has ended so quickly it's like it never even existed at all.

The next group are what we call "apologists." Apologists will buy anything we sell them (we know because we've recently packaged an actual piece of shit and labeled it "Destiny 2," and this demographic of players has literally eaten it up), and they don't ever want to hear an ounce of criticism toward us. Since we NEVER like to speak publicly in forums or address player concerns we RELY on these players to be our eyes, ears, and foaming-at-the-mouth guard dogs who mangle and scare anyone who tries to speak negatively about our product. You'll find these people lurking in forums and on social media waiting to jump into conversations that are critical of our product, where they will then hand-wave legitimate concerns while never forgetting to mention that anyone who complains about Destiny is a whiny baby. To those Apologists out there, THANK YOU. If it wasn't for your tireless attempts to undermine valid criticism and your near-constant positivity policing we may have actually had to make a quality product.

Finally we have the third group, which we call "victims." Victims are the people who have the most time invested into Destiny and continue to come back even after we've strip-mined the game of all its fun and meaningful content. Because we have entered into such a tightly-locked pattern of abuse with these players it's very easy for us to string them along with false promises and the hope that our Developers might magically stop huffing paint thinner and making good choices again (ha!). That - along with the help of our Apologists who work very hard using personal insults and false equivalencies to shut down any negativity from this group - has created an ideal environment for us to make as little effort as possible while continuing to pretend that we care.

Lately, it's come to our attention that we simply aren't sucking enough money directly out of your wallets. Some people might want a deeper, more meaningful endgame, others may want to see weapons and abilities buffed, some people may even want Crucible to be fun again. What WE'VE interpreted all of this to mean is that we simply don't have enough ways to lead you to our in-game purchase store. That's why we are PROUD to announce our new DLC coming soon to Destiny 2: Curse of Eververse.

Come experience the Spendgame! For the low price of $40 you will wait at a loading screen for 3 hours until the Eververse unlocks, where you'll find tons and tons of gear locked behind easy-to-navigate pay walls! You wanted the grind? Well how about you GRIND away at your job and then come "earn" your gear from Tess, the blue-faced representation of our game slowly transforming into FarmVille. That's right, we've buffed the grind so hard that it's literally just like paying bills! Only it's better because you DON'T know what you're actually going to get! Yes we got rid of the RNG of weapon rolls, and instead we've inserted it into almost every other facet of the game, including the part where you spend real money to access most of the content we've put in game! Were you tired of repeating content for ships or sparrows or ghosts? Of course you weren't! But we put them in Eververse anyway! But don't think we haven't forgotten about what makes Destiny truly stand out: its Flawless, engaging narratives.

The main campaign around this DLC involves Tess Eververis, a guardian famous for running the most successful pyramid scheme in the Last City, becoming tangled up in her own warehouse network! It's up to you and Nolan North's Nerd Impression to use your credit card (or if you're a kid, go find your parent's credit card and help uncle Bungo!) to "channel the Light" with light credits. Each "Light credit" costs just $5, and with 20 of them you can successfully free Tess and claim your prize: a 3% discount at Eververse and TWO tokens. You're welcome!

We here at Bungo are COMMITTED to hearing your wants and needs, and then putting those wants and needs into a rocket and jettisoning them into space while we let our unchecked egos run wild! Expect more frequent "transparency" updates soon, where we can detail more ways we plan on smashing every last dream you had into tiny pieces and then ignoring the feedback.

DJ Eej, out!

#TWB #Destiny2 #WEHEARU #Feedback #SPENDGAME